Accepting Hospitality as a Spiritual Practice

In Lauren Winner's book, Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Discipline, she states that hospitality is a spiritual practice. She proposes that being hospitable to others is a tool to gain spiritual growth. I would like to add to her proposition: accepting the hospitality of others is also a spiritual practice. Being a stranger in a foreign land is quite an arduous task. I have always considered myself independent and self-sustaining. Accepting others' kindness and hospitality is very difficult and has forced me to do two things:

1. Conquer the Inner Five Year Old

My mother has always traveled a lot and when she left for more than two days I came down with a form of homesickness that I have coined “momsickness.” When I was “momsick” everybody suffered. One particularly acute case of “momsickness” took place when I was five years old and my mother left for California for a week. While she was gone, my brother and I stayed with a friend of the family. I really liked the woman but I was so unhappy that I could not accept her attempts to make my stay more comfortable. I refused to eat the food she cooked, I kept a foul temperament, and I cried all of the time. I can still see the hurt in her face when I refused to eat the dinner that she cooked for me.
Here in Brazil, I feel the momsick child in me rising up and I have been trying very hard to conquer it. I first realized that I was developing homesickness when my appetite vanished. One of the ways that Brazilians show their hospitality is by feeding me. A LOT. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. The snacks are large enough to be considered meals and dinner is eaten very late, anywhere between 8:00 -11:00 pm. I have been struggling to accept their hospitality by eating everything that is put in front of me. I am not hungry. I haven’t been hungry for days. But I eat couscous at 9:00 am and chocolate cake at 12:00 am and everything in the middle (including really strange things that I would much rather not put into my mouth) because in their offering, they are being hospitable. And in my accepting I am trying to show my gratitude.

2. Conquer the Introvert

I consider myself an introvert with extroverted tendencies. I am naturally shy and quiet, and I like to keep to myself. Over the years I have trained myself to fight these natural inclinations and I have learned the art of conversation and charisma. I have taught myself to be outgoing. I have always prided myself on my ability to walk into a room and begin and maintain a conversation with anyone. But the language barrier here in Brazil has severely hampered my ability to be outgoing. It is easier to follow my natural inclinations to be quiet than to attempt to communicate. It is easy to be present and yet not present. It is easy to be in my own world, completely disconnected from the conversation or the people I am with. Conquering the introvert requires new learning, new skills, new talents, new ways of communicating despite the lack of knowledge of the language. And it requires new presence. It is tuning into a conversation even when the only words I understand are “he,” “she,” “and,” “go,” “is,” and “there.” When I figure out how to do this, I will be sure to report my findings.