Forced Dependence

Kathy Randall: Lela, Kenya
For my entire life, I have been fiercely independent. I can do it all
by myself, thank you very much, if it's fixing something, finding
something, or going somewhere new. If I don't know it already, I can
learn it myself, and I can figure out how to find the answer. I am a
new American girl, and we can do it.
In Kenya, this independence will only kill you. As one who does not
understand the culture, and cannot possibly see all the subtleties of
a situation, if you try to do it your way all the time, it just will
not get done. Healthy, it is easy to think that there are some things
that I can do myself, especially since I have over a year and a half
experience in the country. But when I am sick, I am forced to depend
on those around me. I have to listen to those who have taken it upon
themselves to care for me. Twice now, I have been to the hospital,
eight days apart, because I was truly sick. My "light was gone" from
my eyes and my face. We had to go there to see a doctor, run labs, and
get prescriptions. Twice now, it has been the same man to drive me.
Charles, a member of the Kenyan Umoja board, has a car, and has been
kind enough to take me the hour drive into Kisumu.
In October, Peter Storey asked me where I saw Christ in others. I
didn't have a good answer then, more because I had been so stuck on
surviving independently in Kenya the first time, that I didn't have a
good way of approaching the way I was ministering. Here, blessedly, I
have not been so independent. As a perpetual guest for seven weeks
straight, it forces me to receive hospitality, when I am much more
used to giving it, rather than receiving it.
A dependence on others is the necessity in ministry, regardless of
which country it happens to occur in. Working in ministry, a pastor
can try to do things herself, and things may seem to work for a while,
but the spark in the fire will soon grow dim, and all energy will go
to keeping the embers lit, consuming the pastor, and then smothering
the flame.
In ministry, as we look for Christ in others, we can also be Christ
for them. Renée pointed out that so many times we are focused on the
giving portion of reaching the lonely, imprisoned, hungry, and sick;
being Christ to them as we serve. Sometimes, though, we have to
receive this care, as the lonely, imprisoned, hungry, and sick, and be
the one that are Christ for others to serve. This has been a very
difficult lesson to learn, and it has taken two rounds of getting laid
flat on my back sick for a couple of days to learn. I cannot do
everything myself. I couldn't before, the fact has just now been
emblazoned in my being.
One thing I noticed, as I have been communicating by text to my
friends and family, that my predictive text program on my phone
recognizes serving and resting as the same keystrokes. How perfect. Of
course, once I am well, I will continue to work and go out to learn
more about these fascinating and amazing people with whom I have the
privilege to live. But for now, as I rest, I will receive the gift of
depending on these who have been placed in my life at this time to
care for me, so I can learn from them.